


Perfection Of Hope

by Sarcastic-Mess (MasterOfDisaster)



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, Language, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, POV Tony Stark, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The Avengers (2012) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:18:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13380981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterOfDisaster/pseuds/Sarcastic-Mess
Summary: On the day of your 21st birthday the name of your soulmate appears permanently on your skin. The closer it appears to your heart the deeper your connection.“The universe thinks it's so funny. Giving me two, two! Soulmates and one of them is Captain America. But that's not enough!” Tony exaggeratedly shook his head and pointed at his heart, at his true match. “Thomas here died at the age of ten. Farm accident in Iowa.” He glared at himself in the mirror, before angrily pulling on his shirt again. He couldn't bear look at it anymore.The next two weeks were a blur Tony didn't want to remember.





	Perfection Of Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You Wear My Name Over Your Heart Like It's Invisible](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2584364) by [Eudoxia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eudoxia/pseuds/Eudoxia). 



> This was entirely inspired by You Wear My Name Over Your Heart Like It's Invisible. If you haven't read it yet (It's Adopted Peter Spideypool), stop and go read it first because it is amazing, though it wouldn't help you understand this one.  
> Anyway, I read it for like the fifth time, but now the idea wouldn't let me go for some reason, so this was created. It's un-beta'd, so don't hesitate to point out mistakes or just tell me what you think.

  
  


On the day of your 21st birthday the name of your soulmate appears permanently on your skin. The closer it appears to your heart the deeper your connection. Only in the last few decades more and more people came out to say they had more than one name.

In very rare cases it was two names right on top of your heart, but it became more and more common to have names on top of your heart and somewhere else on your body, indicating a true match and a platonic soulmate.

Anthony Edward Stark was one of the latter.

At three fifty one in the afternoon he was pacing up and down, ignoring the exasperated look Rhodey was sending him. Rhodey didn't understand. He had some nice girl's name on his heart Tony had immediately researched into every detail, even though Rhodey had refused to hear anything about her.

Then between one step and the next two spots on his body burned. His heart and a couple of inches down and on the other side.

Tony's hands were shaking as he pulled off his shirt and then stared into the mirror. He didn't need Rhodey to read it for him, so there was only silence as Tony couldn't do anything other than read the names over and over again.

 _Steven Grant Rogers_ curving just underneath his right pectoral.

 _Thomas Scott Hansen_ directly on his heart.

It took five minutes to find certificates for the last one. And that was only because Rhodey was trying to stop him.

Hysterical laughter bubbled up inside Tony and he pushed away from his computer to go to the liquor cabinet and pull out a bottle, not bothering with a glass.

“The universe thinks it's so funny. Giving me two, _two_! Soulmates and one of them is Captain America.” He took a heavy swig. “But that's not enough!” Tony exaggeratedly shook his head and pointed at his heart, at his _true match._ “Thomas here died at the age of ten. Farm accident in Iowa.” He took another swig and glared at himself in the mirror, before angrily pulling on his shirt again. He couldn't bear look at it anymore.

The next two weeks were a blur Tony didn't want to remember.

  
  


  
  


The Arc Reactor forced Tony to look at his marks. It had been over twenty years since he had properly done so, but he still remembered them, still felt the same rage, but self loathing had joined in. He had done so much bad in the world, he deserved to have dead soulmates. He just didn't understand why it had to be rubbed in his face.

 _Rogers_ and _Thomas_ had been cut off by the hole in his chest, but apparently they refused to just let it happen. Now the words curved around it, _Rogers_ underneath and _Thomas_ above.

Pepper had made the comment it looked pretty and symmetric, like it was meant to be, but she didn't know what she was talking about. She had been concentrating on exchanging the Reactors, she wasn't thinking properly.

And if Tony actually started to look at his marks every now and then, it was only because he was checking up on the Reactor, nothing more.

  
  


  
  


Agent Phil Coulson had been a nobody at first, but had quickly proved himself to be more than Tony had thought. Don't judge a book by its cover and all that jazz. The fact that he was Pepper's soulmate slowed things down immensely. Tony wasn't sure if Agent could make her happy, but she sat Tony down and lectured him that she was an adult and could take care of herself. It didn't stop Tony from giving Agent a big talking to, especially with his collection of Iron Man suits, though it seemed to amuse Agent more than anything.

It was hard to watch Pepper be happy with somebody else, when she was most likely the only person capable and willing to put up with him, but at some point he had to admit Agent made her much happier than Tony could ever hope to do himself.

  
  


  
  


Then Agent Coulson brought him information on the other members of the Avengers Initiative, including an alive Steve Rogers and everything Tony thought he knew changed.

So not only did Coulson bring him the next big threat and a science project he was eager to delve in, he also brought hope. Hope Tony didn't want. He had started trying to make amends for all the mistakes and terrible things he was responsible for, but it was not nearly enough to deserve one of his soulmates to come back from the dead.

It didn't stop Tony to spend the night not only reading everything Selvig had written down about the Tesseract and Banner had published in general, he also tried to find even the slightest hint that Thomas Scott Hansen could still be alive as well, but that turned out to be a dead end. Tony refused to feel disappointed and concentrated on getting to know everything he needed to save the world, certain he would at least get the chance to get along with one of his soulmates.

  
  


  
  


Captain America was an ass. That was why they didn't get along at all. It had nothing to do with the fact Tony had no idea what to say and defaulted to his defense mechanism, pushing everyone away with insults.

Nothing at all.

  
  


  
  


Okay, maybe a teeny tiny bit.

  
  


  
  


After they had saved the world and Tony practically died, it still took a while for everyone to come and consider Stark Tower their home.

Bruce and Pepper helped with renovations and while Tony was worried about Pepper because of Coulson, she told him that the distraction was helping her and who was he to dispute that, when distraction was his own main coping mechanism?

Steve and Natasha occasionally stopped by for coffee or lunch, apart and together, until they moved into the Tower and only ever left for some mission SHIELD had them do. Tony and Steve still clashed and argued, but often it was more for fun than because they disagreed.

Once Tony even thought that he finally understood why they were paired together. They might not love each other romantically or be in perfect harmony all the time, but they challenged each other to be the best possible version of themselves.

  
  


  
  


  
  


Thor showed up once the Bifrost had been repaired. Sure, he talked a lot about Jane Foster and went to spend half his time with her, but who would blame him for that?

Apparently he was the only one in Asgard with a soul mark and was planning to abdicate the throne to stay on Earth.

Personally, Tony thought that was insane.

  
  


  
  


The only one not just coming to the Tower on his own was Clint. Sure, he and Tony didn't have that much interaction during or even after the Battle of New York, but that sour expression on Clint's face as Natasha and Steve guided him into the common area flanking him on both sides, was just unfair. The Tower was beautiful and had so much space they didn't have to be in the same room that often.

It turned out they weren't going to be at all.

Any time there was a meeting or mandatory team activities, were the only times the two were around each other for longer than a minute. Every time they ran into each other unintentionally, Clint would basically run out of the room, no matter what he was doing.

Tony wasn't bothered. He and the Captain had taken a while to warm up to each other after all.

  
  


  
  


It figured that Steve and Natasha were a true match. They were both little shits.

  
  


  
  


Six months after Clint moved into the Tower it started to nag at Tony a little. Clint was still avoiding him at all cost, thanking him for new gear or upgrades to the range through Natasha who looked ready to strangle someone by the third time.

It wasn't like they were completely incompatible. They worked brilliantly in the field together, had the same kind of humor and were far too loyal for their own good. The last one Tony only knew because Natasha had told him, though he never quite figured out why she started to bestow him with all kinds of little tidbits about the archer.

Tony didn't hate Clint, quite the opposite actually. Despite Clint's obvious good looks, he had a confidence that made him only more attractive and more heart than Tony could have ever dreamed of. Everything Natasha told him, from Clint's favorite food and activity despite archery, was as confusing as it was enlightening.

But it only hit him nine months after Clint moved in. Tony had just ended a workshop marathon and was desperate for sleep, coffee and a shower and since the order didn't matter at all, he was dragging himself into the common area where the others, except for Thor who was most likely with Jane, were occupying the couches.

Clint was telling a story and Tony wasn't capable of understanding the words, but he heard the tone and saw Clint's profile. The man was grinning and looked incredibly carefree as he talked, sounding relaxed and happy.

And Tony ached.

Maybe it was for the lightness of the moment, the camaraderie, the way Natasha and Steve were snuggled together, but if Tony was really honest with himself it was for the way Clint's eyes lit up and he wanted that to be directed at him.

It was stupid. His brain had worked too hard and just needed sleep.

Before anyone noticed him, he turned around and went back to his bed, collapsing onto the mattress still dressed in his clothes.

  
  


  
  


“You should talk to him”, Bruce said out of nowhere during one of their science sessions and Tony frowned, because those words weren't describing what was happening at Bruce's end.

“What?”

“To Clint. I don't know what you did, but everyone is sick of you two avoiding each other.”

“I didn't do anything!”, Tony protested, feeling a little bit insulted. Yeah, he didn't do the right thing often, but this time it was really not his fault.

Bruce didn't even look up from where he was writing something down on a piece of paper. Who still used paper?

 _Nerd,_ Tony thought fondly and nearly missed Bruce's next words.

“You always did something. Just get it fixed.”

Despite the absolute falsity that Tony was _always_ at fault, Bruce was right. Something had to change. Tony couldn't keep crushing on someone that couldn't even bear to be in the same room as him. So either he would get Clint to tolerate him or he would get over this crush, because Clint turned out to be a dick.

Either way, Tony didn't expect it to end in a miracle.

Probably the reason why Tony pushed the confrontation until it was inevitable which was about two weeks later.

It was the middle of the night and after the nightmare he just had he was _not_ going back to sleep anytime soon. So he was going to the common kitchen to get some coffee and in vague hope Steve, Bruce or even Natasha was there already. Instead Clint sat at the table, hunched over with dark circles under his eyes staring at nothing.

As Tony stepped inside Clint looked up and froze. For once he didn't move and just continued to watch as Tony made his way past the table and to the coffee machine that was already working, but not filled enough for a mug. For lack of anything other to do Tony turned and leaned against the counter, fingers tapping against his Arc Reactor and raising an eyebrow in Clint's direction.

“Not going run away this time?”, Tony meant it to be snarky, but it turned out too sharp.

Clint's eyes widened and he straightened up in his seat. “I wasn't...”

“Spare me, Barton. We already exchanged more words in the last minute than in the last eleven months.” Tony shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “You hate me. Whatever. Don't have to leave the room like I'm contagious.” He hated the hint of hurt in his voice and he was sure Clint had noticed it, too. He wasn't on Natasha's level for nothing.

Had the coffee machine always been this slow?

Clint looked like a fish for a moment, his mouth just opening and closing without a sound.

“You know what? Forget it.” Tony walked out of the kitchen again and made his way into his workshop. It was maybe not the healthiest option, but YOU's coffee would have to do.

  
  


  
  


After that encounter Tony decided he was sick of always being angry and hurt when Clint showed his dislike that he ordered Jarvis to tell him whenever Clint was close by. Just to be sure he made it a priority command just so that the AI couldn't somehow find a way to get them in one room instead.

What had he been thinking creating such a smartass anyway? (That was a rhetorical question, by the way. He knew exactly what he had been thinking.)

That way Tony managed to reduce his and Clint's already limited interactions to nearly zero.

Tony spend his time either with the other member of the team or Pepper, or with various projects. He was not jealous of how happy Steve and Natasha were, always cuddling and throwing each other happy smiles across the room. He was also not jealous of Thor and Jane when they stayed over or of Bruce and Betty when she showed up, finally telling her father where to shove all his bullshit.

His mood was just not all that good because he missed the time where his tower was far more quiet. That was all.

And if he spent his time before falling asleep most often watching Clint on tower footage, it wasn't to pine or to torture himself with something he couldn't have but for research purposes, shut up, Jarvis.

  
  


  
  


Unsurprisingly Steve was the second person after Rhodey that ever talked to Tony about his true match, though did those few minutes Tony had ranted in Rhodey's presence even count?

Anyway.

They were sitting in the kitchen of Tony's penthouse floor eating sandwiches for lunch, because neither of them felt like going out and Natasha was currently training with Clint. Steve had told him, it wasn't like Tony had graduated to stalker levels.

 _Yet,_ a treacherous voice whispered in the back of his mind.

“You know, you never talk about your soulmate”, Steve said, aiming for a casual, but it totally fell flat. He had been rehearsing it for a while.

Tony shrugged. “Not much to tell. He died when he was ten. We never met. It happens.” He bit into his sandwich and then rolled his eyes at Steve's sad expression. “It's not that big of a deal.” It didn't even hurt all that much anymore.

“But he is your soulmate.”

“And I've never met him and I will never be able to. Nothing I can do about it.”

Steve frowned, half of his sandwich forgotten on his plate as he leaned forward. Tony could already hear the speech about how true matches were so important and good and his counter part may be dead, but that didn't mean Tony couldn't honor it.

Fortunately (yeah, Tony was not a good man), the Avengers' alarm went off and they were both on their feet immediately.

“Suit up”, Steve ordered, but Tony was already pulling of the button down shirt he was wearing, so he could put on something that wouldn't chafe under the suit.

It took two seconds for Tony to notice Steve was frozen to the spot and staring at his chest wide eyed. Tony had forgotten to put on an undershirt this morning. Damnit.

“You think Natasha would approve you checking out other people?” Tony took the time to smirk and watched satisfied how Steve blushed and stammered for words, before running out to the elevator.

Chuckling Tony made his way over to get the armor, pushing away the uncomfortable sensation he was feeling at the thought that there was one more person knowing what his true match's name was.

  
  


  
  


Clint wasn't talking to him.

Which, yes, wasn't necessarily anything new, but now even all the call outs during the fight were kept generic or directly addressed to one of the others.

 _It's my own fault,_ Tony thought and practically flung himself into the fight, knowing it would get him lectured later.

  
  


  
  


There was no lecture.

Confused Tony watched Steve pull Natasha to the side and whisper with her intensely instead of making sure they all helped with clean up and showed up at debrief.

Something was going on.

  
  


  
  


Tony spent the next two days antsy and a little bit skittish, waiting for some type of shoe to drop.

  
  


  
  


Tony was the last one to show up at the team meeting, though he didn't know it in that moment.

Clint was slouched on one of the couches and Natasha and Steve were standing in front of him between the couches and the elevator. (So no one could run away, which Tony also only learned later.)

Pointedly ignoring Clint Tony chose to sit down on one of the arm rests of another couch tapping his fingers on his thigh. “Aren't you going to applaud me for being here before anyone else?”

Natasha smiled and a shiver of fear went down Tony's back. That was not a good smile at all.

“No one else is coming”, Steve explained and at least had the guts to look a little bit apologetic.

“You said this was a team meeting.” Clint frowned and put both his feet back on the ground.

“Only way to get you two idiots into a room together.” Natasha folded his arms across her chest. “What's going on between you two is impacting performance.”

“I assure you, my performance is a hundred per cent.” Tony leered at her and earned an unimpressed look from her and Steve.

“Nat”, Clint said quietly and Tony looked over to see the archer look at her with such anger in his eyes, Tony nearly flinched back. “Did you tell him?”

Natasha didn't back down, but Steve looked sheepish and that was all Clint needed to see.

“You had no right.” The words were nearly a shout as Clint jumped up onto his feet, hands clenched to fists at his sides. “This has nothing to do with them. I don't care that you are fucking or you're destined or some shit. I told you in confidence and you just walked all over it.”

Tony's own heart was breaking at the hurt that was all too audible in Clint's voice.

“I've made my decision, why can't you just accept that?”

“Because it's stupid.” Natasha uncrossed her arms and stepped forward. “And not just your decision. More importantly, it's hurting you and I don't want to see you hurting.”

“It seems like you have a lot to talk about. I'm just gonna...” Tony stood up too and started to walk towards the elevator, but Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him back and next to Clint.

“I don't care if this takes all night. You're going to talk.”

“Clint hates me. I don't care either way.” Tony put his body into a relaxed _don't-give-a-fuck_ stance. “There. Can I go now?”

“No, but great starting point.” Steve beamed at him and Tony pulled a face in return. “I want yes and no answers. Do you hate him?”

“No”, they said in unison and automatically glanced at each other.

Tony was pretty sure they never looked directly into each others eyes before. Clint's were beautiful. (He sounded like a teenager. Fuck.)

“Awesome. Do you...”, Natasha started, but was interrupted by Clint.

“Fine. I get it, alright.” He turned to Tony who forced himself to look nonchalant. “You invited me into your home and gave me all that amazing gear, even after I was a complete asshole to you. There was nothing fair about it. It's completely my fault. I apologize. You didn't deserve that treatment.”

Tony shrugged, although his heart was nearly beating out of his chest. Could this be a start to an actual friendship? “I know some people who would disagree with you.” He was trying to lighten up the moment a little bit, though he couldn't help his smile from being genuine and way softer than usually.

“It's not going to continue that way.” It wasn't a question and Steve used his Captain voice. The one that promised grave consequences if not followed.

Nodding Clint glanced at Natasha who just smirked. “Sure.”

Steve beamed and Tony couldn't imagine having a better platonic soulmate.

  
  


  
  


In a rare case of being optimistic Tony deleted the order to tell him when Clint was too close from Jarvis' commands and not even twenty hours later ran into Clint in the communal kitchen, where nearly the whole team had gathered to eat Steve's cooking.

Clint tensed where he sat on top of one of the counters, but didn't move, his fingers flexing around the glass of juice.

They all got through the meal without anyone fleeing from the room though Clint was mostly silent and Tony roped someone else into a conversation the whole time. It wasn't perfect by a long shot, but it was a start and Tony was in a better mood than he had been in a long time. He was pretty sure Steve noticed and that was the only thing keeping Steve and Natasha from commenting on it.

As they all got up and somehow found themselves in some clean up task or the other while Steve was looking on a smug smile on his face, Tony even managed to make Clint laugh. Okay, it was more of an unwilling snort that seemed to startle the archer as much as it did Tony, but he would take it.

That moment also woke up Tony's mischievous streak.

  
  


  
  


On the other side of the room Steve suddenly got a headache for no particular reason.

  
  


  
  


People called Tony a lot of things. Arrogant, narcissistic, unable to commit, a joke, Merchant of Death just to name a few. Stubborn was on the list, too, but it was further down and not used as often, though it didn't make it any less true.

So, even though Operation Make-The-Hawk-Shout had only yielded minimal results over the two weeks it had been in effect, Tony was not admitting defeat and still working on it. (The execution of the plan and the name, itself.)

Slowly, but surely Tony got Clint to relax in his presence, even smile at what he was saying every once and a while and talk to him during exercises and actual fights, but with every tug of Clint's lips, with every time Clint didn't react much to Tony's arrival and didn't hesitate anymore when he walked into a room Tony was already in, Tony became more and more greedy, cataloging everything and tugging it away for later perusal.

So while what he was doing was working, Tony intended to step up his game. No one could ever say he did things half way.

  
  


  
  


In hindsight, throwing himself in front of the big spear was not one of Tony's best ideas. It thankfully only pierced one or two layers of the armor and didn't manage to impale Tony's actual body, but it did rip him out of the air and into a building that collapsed on top of him.

He may or may not have blacked out for a bit.

What he expected was either lay there for a while until the clean up crew could dig him out or Bruce got to him or his suit got online before then so that he could get himself out.

So when he blinked, a few black spots still dancing in his vision, he was like seventy per cent sure what he was seeing was a hallucination.

A dirt streaked, dusty Clint was straddling Tony, hands hovering over the spear _still_ in Tony's suit.

He made a mental note to investigate from what material they were made from if they could withstand a whole building falling on them.

“Do I pull it out? No, that will only do more damage. Shit. What do I do?” Clint was muttering, jumping from one thing to another. With his shaken brain Tony could barely keep up. “That's not where it's supposed to go.”

“That's what she said”, Tony barely got out, before a coughing fit shook him, jarring the various bruises he was sporting no doubt. He just hoped the suit had prevented any broken bones. Those were a bitch.

“Tony?”

Chance of Hallucination: Eighty six per cent. Clint never ever addressed him like that. It was always Iron Man or Stark, if he addressed him at all.

“Tony! Answer me! I'm not letting you die, you hear me?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, but there was still dust everywhere. He needed to rig the air filtration so that it would just fail with the rest of the suit. “The suit's rebooting, but it's taken a bit.”

“Fuck the suit. Are you hurt?”

Tony closed his eyes for a second, selfishly letting himself imagine that there was worry in Clint's voice for just one second. “I'm okay. Bruises mostly.” And if his voice was a little softer than usually, it was all the dust and building particles in the air.

“I assume you don't have your comm anymore?” Clint was still above Tony who made sure to commit the sight to memory even though Clint looked like he had been in the thick of the fight instead of above it. “Natasha and Steve tag teamed the leader and took him down. They were very motivated after you protected Nat.” Clint tilted his head and only the word _adorable_ came to Tony's mind. “And now they're furious with you for being so reckless.”

Tony attempted to shrug, but winced and stopped immediately. “Better me than her.”

For several seconds Clint just stared at him, his faceplate, whatever, his mouth slightly agape, before anger took over his expression and he punched Tony in the shoulder before cursing a blue streak shaking his hand. “You! You fucking IDIOT! What? Like you don't have people that would mourn for you? That would remember you? Have you no idea...”

The suit powering up with its unique sound interrupted Clint and Tony was very conflicted whether or not he regretted that. As it were he had no time to think about that as Jarvis told him all kinds of warnings, most important of all that the building was about a minute away from collapsing even further. Which would not be that big of a problem if Clint hadn't been there with him.

“Jarvis”, Tony instructed, receiving an _On It, Sir_ because the AI was awesome like that and then grabbed the spear, breaking it off so it would catch on anything while still leaving a part in the suit to be analyzed later. “How did you even get in here, Hawkeye? Isn't it a bit too cramped for a bird?”

As Jarvis told him about his progress as he went to see any way out of the debris, Tony only noticed that Clint wasn't saying anything when Clint's expression had already closed off again, adopting his Hawkeye face and swinging off Tony.

“Same way I'm going to get out.”

“In the next thirty-six seconds? Because the building is going to crush you then.” Carefully Tony sat up, metal creaking and rubbing against each other like it was definitely not meant to.

“Then I better hurry, huh”, Clint replied, tone ice cold and actually turned reaching up to grab a beam that was wedged diagonally between a rock and a hard place.

“Now who's the idiot?” Quickly, because there was no way Tony was letting Clint die, he grabbed the archer chuckling at the yelp, before blasting his repulsors at a couple of strategic spots.

Tony's hands clung to Clint a little bit too much and he had Jarvis guide the suit of the rubble with the feet repulsors because Tony was too busy curling the rest of his body around Clint as best as he could as pieces started to shake loose and rain down on them.

And because nothing could ever be smooth for them, Tony got out of the building with just seconds to spare and directly into a car. Clint's curses and the car alarm were the last thing he heard, before he blacked out for good this time.

  
  


  
  


Operation Smile-With-Style (Yeah, he had to keep working on the name.) had lost progress. A lot of progress.

Clint was still willing to be in the same room, but Tony was being severely ignored. Again.

No matter what he said or did Clint just went on with his day like nothing had happened. It... It hurt and Tony hated it with a passion.

He had to lock himself into the workshop to get his head back into gear and because the injuries he had sustained in the battle had only been minor, Steve or Pepper weren't able to drag him out to fuss over him.

When he left he wasn't sure what day it was, he hadn't showered or properly slept besides naps here and there in who knew how long and his stomach was actually screaming at him to get something that wasn't smoothies, coffee or oil. The last one was courtesy of YOU.

 _That little bugger is never gonna learn,_ Tony thought fondly as he waited for the elevator doors to open on the communal floor.

His hard worked for, tentative good mood lifted a bit more with ridiculous hope as Clint appeared on the other side, looking surprised and very, very handsome in black slacks and a dark purple button down shirt.

“Hot Date?”, Tony a hundred per cent jokingly asked, not at all expecting the sweet, automatic smile that was suddenly on Clint's lips.

“Yeah, something like that.”

Stunned Tony stepped out of the elevator, letting Clint in and disappear out of sight again.

Their first civil interaction since before the battle even and it was this.

Tony suddenly felt the very strong urge to get his hands on some alcohol, any alcohol. He went to find Steve instead.

  
  


  
  


Ironically now it was Tony who was ignoring Clint like the plague.

 _Though,_ Tony thought bitterly, fastening his red tie around his neck. _Not like he had the time to notice._

Over the couple of weeks since Clint had admitted to going on a date, they hadn't seen that much of each other and what Tony did see hadn't been good for him. A happy Clint being excited to meet with whoever it was he was meeting with. It wasn't like Tony didn't want him to be happy or anything like that, but it just reminded Tony of how he would never be that person.

With a sigh he straightened his jacket and then went over to his kitchen to get some coffee for the road, but found it empty. Why did something like that always happen when he had to get to a meeting for Stark Industries?

Helpfully Jarvis told him that there was already brewed coffee in the communal kitchen and Clint was not there, so Tony quickly made his way over there, before Pepper started calling to admonish him for being late.

The communal kitchen apparently was not empty as Tony had thought, but was currently occupied by a pretty, young woman only wearing a man's button down shirt that covered her to her mid thigh and left the rest of her legs bare. Jarvis could have been more specific.

She froze when she noticed him and Tony's mind was racing.

Everyone except Clint and Tony had found their soulmates and were together with them and Tony was like ninety eight per cent sure he had not picked up a twenty something woman for a one night stand. Those two per cent made him worry for the seconds it took him to recognize the shirt.

His stomach felt like it plummeted and his breathing failed him for a second.

“Sorry. Clint said no one would be up this early.” She brushed her black hair back behind one ear holding a mug to her chest with the other hand.

Tony put on his press smile and sauntered over to fill up his travel mug. “Don't worry, dear. No problem at all. So you've been the one Clint has been sneaking around with all this time. I see why he decided to keep you all to himself.” The wink hurt him, but she smiled.

“He's helping me through some stuff. He is very patient and really amazing.” She sipped from her mug. It looked more like tea than coffee. “I couldn't ask for a better soulmate.”

The words weren't able to translate into his brain for long enough that he wasn't paying attention to what his hands were doing and soon he was cursing and his travel mug was rolling over the ground.

The woman grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand under the tap to run cold water over it though Tony couldn't really feel any of it.

 _I couldn't ask for a better soulmate._ The words echoed in Tony's head, burying themselves like spikes in his flesh from the inside.

She, _Clint's soulmate,_ had found the first aid kit that was on every floor and rubbed salve onto the burns and wrapped a bandage around it.

“Clint told me that you were a bit of a klutz sometimes, but I didn't really believe it until now, Mister Stark.”

No. Tony couldn't deal with this. He couldn't talk with... He couldn't... He couldn't _breathe_.

His chest felt like a vice, getting tighter and tighter, squeezing his heart and lungs. Black spots danced through his vision and panic and anxiety and all kinds of emotions gripped him and the walls were coming closer?

He shook off the woman's hands, said something, maybe, he wasn't sure. It didn't matter. His legs carried him into the elevator, his hands clawing at his tie and shirt, because _he couldn't breathe._ He needed... He needed...

The elevator doors opened, (when had they closed?) and the blurry outlines of Steve and Natasha appeared.

“Tony?”

He opened his mouth, but how could he talk if there wasn't any air in his lungs? How could he explain, when they had found each other and were happy?

“We've got you.” Natasha gently took his hand and pulled him towards them, before enveloping him in their arms, creating a cocoon and although he should have felt even more claustrophobic he felt inexplicable safe. He closed his eyes.

  
  


  
  


Disoriented Tony found himself waking up in a bed that was not his own with a warm body on either side of him.

While he was no stranger to waking up after having fun with two people he had just met, it had been a very long time since he had done his playboy reputation proud.

Hands were laying on his shoulder blades, not moving and there was another, bigger hand on his side.

Tony blinked and tilted his head up to find himself face to face with Steve who smiled tentatively.

“Hey.”

“Hey”, Tony answered slowly, before he frowned, trying to remember what had happened, but the last thing that was clear was him arriving at Steve's and Nat's floor. They must have dragged him to their bed, or Steve had carried him.

“How are you feeling?”, Natasha asked, leaning her forehead against Tony's back who soaked up the comfort like a sponge.

“I... I don't know.”

“Okay.” Steve tilted his head down and let his forehead rest against the top of Tony's head. “You want to talk about it?”

That was not what Tony did, putting his problems on other people, but this was Tony's soulmate, the only one he would ever going to get.

He closed his eyes, not bothering with any mask. The two couldn't see his face anyway. “It was about Clint and me”, he started hesitatingly. “We didn't have the best start.” What an understatement. It was also not the right words. “I... I found out who Clint's soulmate is.” It was nearly whispered and he wasn't sure he could say anything else to that. Hopefully he didn't need to. Steve for one already knew that Tony was falling for the archer and Natasha was... Well, Natasha.

“He finally told you then. About time.”

“What Natasha is trying to say is that it's understandable that you're freaked out about this. It's a lot.” Steve rubbed Tony's side for a second.

“I care about him so much.” A quiet, heartbreaking confession. “It's been so long...”

“Try to see the good side of things. This way you fell in love with him, because of who he is and not because you two wear each other's names on your skin.”

“Yeah”, Natasha agreed as Tony frowned. “And he was always so afraid that his first impression fucked everything up. Like saving the world was the worst thing he could have done.”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” Tony sat up, untangling himself from their hands the bed until he was standing next to the bed, just in a t-shirt and what felt like Steve's sweatpants. He nearly tripped over the hem, but he barely noticed. “Clint wears my name?”

“You said you found out who Clint's soulmate is.” Steve was looking a bit panicked, while Natasha had adopted her mission face.

“Yes.” Tony's hand flailed through the air as he gestured... something. “The pretty woman with the black hair!”

“Kate?” Natasha wrinkled her nose. “She is his platonic soulmate. He got her away from some pretty bad people.”

Steve opened his mouth, but Tony's thoughts were already all over the place, processing all the new information and everything he had thought he'd known.

A lot made far more sense than it had just a minute ago.

Before Natasha or Steve could get out of bed, Tony was running down to the elevator, but didn't have the patience to wait for it and actually took the stairs.

He tripped over the pants a couple of times, but managed to not fall face first onto the ground.

It took him three tries to find Clint, not even thinking about asking Jarvis for help. The gym was empty and the communal floor was occupied by Thor, Jane and Bruce who looked at him with worried expression though he didn't really notice. The last place was Clint's floor where he pounded his fist against the door, breathing heavily and wringing his hands.

Maybe this was a bad idea. He had only just found out and he _did_ just have a panic attack however long ago that was.

He was just about to decided to leave again, when the door opened, revealing Clint in some faded jeans and a simply t-shirt.

Surprise, then concern and confusion appeared on his face. “Stark? Is something wrong?” Any other moment Tony would have hated the formality, but in this one there were more important things.

“I'm your soulmate?”

Clint's face transformed into pure, unconcealed panic. “W-What? I.. Uh.”

Maybe it was the fact that he was still feeling vulnerable or it was that tiny part of him that made the decision to fly a nuke into space without knowing whether or not he would come back, but he didn't think, just opened his mouth and told the truth.

“Because I'm in the process of falling in love with you.”

A moment of shock on both sides, before Tony just plowed on.

“And I don't fucking care that I don't have your name, because this is not about that. I mean, it kinda is, but not the way it usually is. What I'm trying to say is...” He didn't get to finish.

Clint reached forward and grabbed Tony's biceps to pull him into a clumsy kiss. It was off center a little and a bit too hard. Tony had absolutely no complains as he buried his own fingers into Clint's very soft hair.

The second kiss was better and they both melted into each other, holding each other up.

“Just for the record”, Tony murmured when they had to catch their breath, both had ended up leaning against the door frame. “My speech was amazing and would have knocked you off your feet.”

Clint chuckled. “You did just as well without it.”

With lazy smile Tony hummed, before stealing another kiss.

After a few seconds Clint pulled back and Tony didn't like his expression at all. His heart that had been jumping up and down in his chest was suddenly ready to take a fall.

“Not that I'm not happy with”, Clint started and Tony shook his head, stepping back.

“No”, he interrupted him. He couldn't hear it. Not after... “No. I get it. I was getting ahead of myself. Of course you don't.” While he talked he was stepping back more and more, trying to make his escape to the elevator. This was humiliating.

“Tony!” Clint rushed forward to grab his shoulders. “I don't know if you noticed, but _I_ kissed _you._ It wasn't because you were there or any of that. Tony, I wanted to kiss you. I still want to kiss you, but there is stuff you need to know.”

Tony opened his mouth, but Clint covered it with his hand and shook his head.

“Let me talk for a second. If you still want to be with me after that, let's do it.” Now the hopeful expression was on Clint's face and not Tony's for a change. “I do wear your name on my skin. When I got my names I was already a mercenary and millions of people pretended to have your name. I didn't bother, but then the Invasion happened and we were put together. After all those years.” He smiled wryly. “I had just been brainwashed and you showed no sign of recognition, so I thought that was it. Then Natasha dragged me here and I treated you so badly. I was so _afraid_ that you would realize that you're my soulmate and laugh in my face, kick me out or something.”

Tony shook his head vehemently, but the hand over his mouth was not moving.

“I know now that you wouldn't do that”, Clint said with a small, rather fond smile. “I saw what a good man you are, all your adorable habits and the fear to be found out and loose my team turned into fear of rejection, because there is no way I'm good enough for you especially because my name didn't seem to be on you.”

Tony glared, because it was the only thing he could do.

“Then I found Kate and we realized something. Names don't change.” Clint shook his head, but it seemed more at himself than at Tony. He also took his hand away.

“What does that mean?”, Tony asked with a frown.

“When I was a mercenary I went by Hawkeye and later by Clint Barton, but neither is the name I was born with. And the name tattooed on your match's skin is the name you were born with.”

Tony's eyes widened and he automatically reached up to tap his Ark Reactor, a gesture he always did instead of touching his soul mark directly. “Are you saying that there is a chance that...” Hope had never done much for Tony, but this moment he couldn't help it.

“Thomas Scott Hansen.”

Tony barely let Clint finish, before he was the one to pull the other into a kiss this time. “Don't think. I'm not. Angry that. You faked. Your Death. With a certificate”, he told him between kisses and only made Clint chuckle. “The punishment will take years.”

Grinning Clint nipped at Tony's bottom lip before knocking their foreheads together. “I will gladly take years.”

Tony wore a matching smile (and a _matching soul mark, fuck)_ and reached up to softly place his fingers on Clint's heart. He didn't need to see it. Maybe it was cheesy, okay it was definitely cheesy, but he felt it down to his bones that they were a match.

“Operation Soulmate”, Tony whispered and Clint's eyebrows rose.

“What?”, he asked confused and Tony just chuckled and kissed him again.

“I'll tell you later.”

Just the fact that they had _later_ was enough to make Tony forget anything else.

  
  


  
  


Pepper was not amused.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to talk, you can also find me [here.](https://sarcasticmesswriting.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.


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